Member-only story
Foxes are So Desperate To Become Domesticated In London
But are we ready for them?
They watch with deep envy over the long term phenomenal success of their canine cousins in embedding and endearing themselves to humans.
They have great difficulty in comprehending how the less charming and attractive species among the canines such as the Mastiffs, Dobermans, German Shepherds, Rottweilers have been able to do what they haven’t.
And when they look at cats, their hearts shudder! What is it that those arrogant felines have over us, that we don’t? We are cerebral, cunning, charming, strategic and have been around for the longest time.
They roam the parks of Hampstead, Kingsbury, Hendon, Hackney, Finsbury Park, Charlton, Richmond, Surbiton and Tooting, seriously concerned about their precarious existence in twenty-first century Britain — a country coming to terms with its current incarnation as an inward looking place.
It was with these issues in mind that the foxes of the greater and inner London area at their recent convention agreed on a five point strategy to become domesticated.
· A ceasefire on rummaging through residential bins
· Stiffer sentences on foxes caught loitering around human residences