How Is it That No One’s Teeth are Bad, Chipped or Missing In Hollywood Movies?

Despite the extreme violence and poverty..

Alexander Krivitskiy via Unsplash

This article is inspired by Argumentative Penguin’s paean to Hollywood films.

As with millions across the world, I enjoy watching major film productions from Tinseltown.

In those films, it doesn’t really matter how dirt poor the protagonist is, they always have perfect teeth. Erin Brockovich was a poor and illiterate working class woman and yet her smile was worth a million dollars. Denzel Washington in John Q, despite his extreme poverty had the sort of teeth that billionaires on wall street will die for.

And what’s more, you can be rest assured that our heroes, despite the numbers of beatings that they have received, their gnashers are usually unaffected.

Britain’s finest ever secret agent — James Bond — has received more than his fair share of ass whooping and yet emerged like nothing ever happened.

Brad Pitt took a few blows to the face and still looked as strikingly handsome as ever in the fight club and Robert Redford took a few blows to the face in the Last Castle and his teeth was glistening as ever the very next day…

I write this because reality is quite different.